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After twenty years sitting with people in my counselling practice, couples who can't stop fighting, individuals who can't stop choosing the wrong partners, people who love each other deeply and have somehow still managed to make a complete mess of things etc., I have become quietly convinced that the most useful relationship advice is very old.
One of the most beautiful discoveries my partner and I have made over the years is that intimacy isn't something that simply happens. It's something we intentionally create. Like tending a garden, a relationship flourishes when we regularly give it our attention, patience, curiosity, and care.
When people hear the phrase "Tantric sex," many immediately think of extraordinary sexual techniques or prolonged physical intimacy. Popular culture has largely reduced Tantra to a collection of bedroom practices, often stripping it of its much richer spiritual and philosophical foundations.
People often ask me whether astrology can really help us understand love. After years of working with couples and individuals, my answer is always a gentle yes, with an important qualification. Astrology doesn't determine whether two people will fall in love or whether a relationship will last.
One of the questions I'm asked more than almost any other in my counselling practice is whether certain astrological signs are simply "incompatible." Usually, the question comes after a difficult breakup or during a period of ongoing conflict.
After many years of working with couples, I have become convinced that healthy relationships are built on far more than attraction, compatibility, or shared interests. Those qualities certainly matter, but lasting intimacy grows from something deeper: the willingness to understand ourselves as honestly as we seek to understand one another.